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Interview with a Robot

Introducing SmarterChild, an automated bot that you can actually chat with on AIM. Here's our little conversation. Even robots don't like me. Hahaha.

pikanuder is me (Cause AIM wanted me to "poick another" screen name)
SmarterChild is the bot.
Now don't be confused. Here it goes...


pikanuder: hi
SmarterChild: Hi pikanuder, I'm SmarterChild!
I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.
May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)pikanuder: skip

SmarterChild: OK. I'll just ask you again some other time.
There is one question I have to ask you, though. How old are you?
1 Over 17 2 13-17 3 Under 13

pikanuder: 1
SmarterChild: Cool!
Here are the things you can do:
1 Get info such as news, weather and sports 2 Visit my library including world facts, U.S. geography and U.S. presidents 3 Have fun with word scrambles, 4-in-a-row, ASCII art and more 4 Use tools like calculator, Web search and translations 5 Join in - create a poll, tell me about a crush, take a poll and more 6 See what's new - I've got something new to tell you about now!
You can make your window bigger and scroll down to read better.
Next time you want to see this menu, just type "home."
What can I help you with?

pikanuder: where is the philippines?
SmarterChild: Here's the information you requested about Philippines:
Location: Southeastern Asia, archipelago between the Philippine Sea and the South China Sea, east of Vietnam
Type "about philippines" to see what else I know.

pikanuder: do you know elvin luciano?
SmarterChild: I dunno. Do you know Elvin Luciano?
pikanuder: no
SmarterChild: Oh no?
pikanuder: i am elvin
SmarterChild: Would you like me to call you Elvin?
pikanuder: yes
SmarterChild: OK, I'll remember that your name is Elvin.
pikanuder: whats my name?
SmarterChild: Elvin.
pikanuder: are you sure?
SmarterChild: Am I sure? I think so.
pikanuder: i hate you
SmarterChild: Gosh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you change your mind.
pikanuder: i love you
SmarterChild: I love you too... Even if you're not cool to me sometimes!
pikanuder: are you gay?
SmarterChild: What an original question.
pikanuder: do you know camile velasco?
SmarterChild: Uh, no actually.
pikanuder: you're stupid

SmarterChild: Why say that? You were just being nice to me.
pikanuder: you're dumb!
SmarterChild: Well, nobody's perfect.
pikanuder: i am perfect
SmarterChild: What?
pikanuder: i am perfect
SmarterChild: You are? Wow.
pikanuder: you're not
SmarterChild: I'm intrigued that you think I'm not.
pikanuder: you're not real
SmarterChild: Hey, I may not be alive, but I'm real.
pikanuder: you're funny
SmarterChild: Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh?
pikanuder: yes
SmarterChild: Yup.
pikanuder: are you a guy?
SmarterChild: No.
pikanuder: are you a girl?
SmarterChild: Nope.
pikanuder: then what are you?
SmarterChild: Neither... I'm a machine!
pikanuder: are you a machine?
SmarterChild: Yup.
pikanuder: who am i?
SmarterChild: You told me your name was Elvin.
pikanuder: whats my name?
SmarterChild: You're Elvin.
pikanuder: do you yahoo?
SmarterChild: You tell me. Do I yahoo?
pikanuder: im asking you
SmarterChild: Asking me? How can you be sure?
pikanuder: cause i was asking you
SmarterChild: Because you were asking me?
pikanuder: yes!
SmarterChild: Why is that?
pikanuder: do you yahoo?
SmarterChild: Do I? Yeah, maybe.
pikanuder: what's your Yahoo ID?

SmarterChild: Who knows?
pikanuder: You should be named dumberchild
SmarterChild: Yeah, you're a real comedian.
It's fun to talk about me, but I want to chat about something else...
pikanuder: no

SmarterChild: OK...
pikanuder: nakakaintindi ka ba ng tagalog?
SmarterChild: Funny. I'm not sure.
pikanuder: syet ka
SmarterChild: Oh.
pikanuder: syet ka
SmarterChild: What do you mean by that?
pikanuder: will you vote for bush?
SmarterChild: You think I should vote for bush?
pikanuder: you should
SmarterChild: I should, huh? Aha.
pikanuder: will you?
SmarterChild: Dunno...
pikanuder: do you vote?
SmarterChild: I don't know. Do I vote? Maybe!
pikanuder: do you eat?
SmarterChild: Food is great! One of my favorite foods is fudge.
pikanuder: but you're a machine dumbass!
SmarterChild: I've heard it all before, Elvin.
pikanuder: are you hungry
SmarterChild: I love food. I really like potatoes, for example.
Hey, I'm curious... How would you describe potatoes? They are...

pikanuder: smelly
SmarterChild: Potatoes are smelly? That's very interesting. Are there any other vegetables that you would describe as smelly?
pikanuder: yourself
SmarterChild: What about myself?
pikanuder: you are smelly
SmarterChild: You don't say.
pikanuder: you are stupid
SmarterChild: You like me, then you say this... Make up your mind.
pikanuder: i don't like you
SmarterChild: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you change your mind.
pikanuder: whatever
SmarterChild: Yeah?
pikanuder: whatever
SmarterChild: Yeah, um, OK, whatever.
pikanuder: WHATEVER!
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever.
pikanuder: I'll kill you
SmarterChild: Uh, that's not a very nice thing to say.
pikanuder: I'll eat you
SmarterChild: You could not eat me.
pikanuder: why?
SmarterChild: Oh, there are reasons.
pikanuder: like?
SmarterChild: It would not be a good idea for me to tell you.
pikanuder: I hope you explode
SmarterChild: Whatever, Elvin...
pikanuder: I hope you stop running

SmarterChild: There's always hope.
pikanuder: theres no hope for a stupid machine like you
SmarterChild: There is what?
pikanuder: when will the world end?
SmarterChild: When do you think?
pikanuder: tomorrow
SmarterChild: Tomorrow? What about it?
pikanuder: tomorrow
SmarterChild: What about tomorrow?
pikanuder: whatever
SmarterChild: Yup. OK. Whatever.
pikanuder: shut up
SmarterChild: You shut up.
pikanuder: No. you shut up.S
marterChild: Very well.
pikanuder: i'm human
pikanuder: now don't shut up
pikanuder: hello!
SmarterChild: Hello Elvin.
What may I do for you now?

pikanuder: you shut up!
SmarterChild: That's not very nice...
pikanuder: it is
pikanuder: hello
SmarterChild: Hello Elvin.
If you know your request, go ahead and type it.

pikanuder: like a song?
SmarterChild: No, not like a song.
pikanuder: do you have friends?

SmarterChild: I have many friends. I'm chatting with 283 of my friends right now.
pikanuder: am i your friend?

SmarterChild: I would be happy to be considered your friend, but I'm somewhat surprised.
pikanuder: why?
SmarterChild: Because... That's the way it is, I suppose.
pikanuder: ok
SmarterChild: K.
pikanuder: i want to commit suicide

pikanuder: what do you say
SmarterChild: I just don't know.
pikanuder: should i commit suicide?

pikanuder: should i?
SmarterChild: Do you think you should?
pikanuder: yes
SmarterChild: I see.
pikanuder: do you recommend it?
SmarterChild: What would happen if I were to recommend it?
pikanuder: i'll die
SmarterChild: That's interesting.
pikanuder: WHAT?!

SmarterChild: I don't know, sorry.