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The Curious Case of Katrina Halili

They moved faster than the A (H1N1). The spread of the Hayden-[insert woman’s name here] sex videos is one real pandemic.

But of all the women dragged into this mess, It was Katrina Halili who took most of the blows (No I’m not gonna say no pun intended here, cause that is so 1990s, lol). When the Careless Whispers videos came out, everyone was simply on Alert Level 1 – meh, doesn’t she do that on SOP every week? And then came the Beautiful Girls with the glowing balls – Alert Level 2. People thought, hmmm could something have really happened before or after this private show? And where did they get those glowing balls? And then the dam burst open. Suddenly, people who were praying for the Hayden Katrina sex videos to rain on them, got a tropical depression. Apparently, there were more. Alert Level 6! Everybody wanted a piece of Katrina (and the rest of the ensemble). Suddenly, officemates who just minutes ago denied having a USB flash disk when you needed to borrow one, are plugging their little sticks in those scandalous computers. PCs lit up with small frames of Windows Media Player (or Nokia Multimedia Player for the 3gp files), displaying the now famous aircon unit and bedside lampshade.

So Katrina, who at first joked about how sexy she was during the time Careless Whispers was taken, who was the poster girl of evil in numerous GMA shows, who once cried on national TV because of remarks from people that she’ll only be famous if she bares skin, not only cried, but sobbed like there’s no tomorrow. Once done crying, she came back to fighting form and trooped the senate amidst allegations that everything was staged and/or she was paid to come out and speak. In the senate, we saw her do the swaying shocked/startled look when some guy doused the doctor with water just because Katrina reminded him of his own daughter.

And knowing how forgetful we Filipinos are, our interest in the whole circus gradually dwindled. Our focus was shifted on more important national issues like the automated elections, the charter change and the Ruffa-John Lloyd supposed love affair, lol. As of this writing, SNN is the remaining show that still believes that the Hayden-Katrina issue is still newsworthy.

And then we see this video – the one with a fully clothed Katrina, but still is very disturbing. Disturbing because the Katrina in this video is absolutely different from all the previous Katrina persona that emerged. Here we see a seemingly half awake Katrina mumbling things to her asawa and saying bad things about Dra. Belo’s poor dog. Katrina baby talks her way through this video, and struggles with thought coherence and all things sound and logical. This may not be as taboo as her other videos but this sure is fun to watch.

Now, if only GMA can produce a new reality show like The Real Life or Big Brother but with all the Starstruck 1 girls in it – that will be awesome. Imagine Jennylyn Mercado being missing from time to time only to give a “huh?” excuse after, Yasmien scolding everybody for eating meat and then warning everyone about Baron Geisler, Christine Reyes fighting with the other girls, Sheena Halili daring the girls for some silly Pinoy “record”, Nadine Samonte being quiet in the corner putting Gibi shoes on her hair and Jade Lopez explaining to everyone who she is.